I am a 30 year old, bi-national girl trying to create conscience and conversations around returned immigrants, and their ability to self identify. I believe in a kinder world where social justice will be a reality, and in planting trees whose shade I will not enjoy. I live with my cat Chloe in Merida, Mexico.

The best explanation I’ve heard of myself, thus far:

M: So, Azul was born [in Mexico]?
J: Yes.
M: But she was raised in the US?
J: Yeah.
M: So, what what is she exactly?
J: Nothing.

This quote is important in the way I approach life:

“I beg you to have patience with everything unresolved in your heart and try to love the questions themselves as if they were locked rooms or books written in a very foreign language. Do not search for the answers, which could not be given you now, because you would not be able to live them. And the point is, to live everything. Live the questions now. Perhaps then, someday far in the future, you will gradually, without even noticing it, live your way into the answer.”

-Rainer Maria Rilke

6 thoughts on “About

  1. Dear Azul,
    I have just started looking at your blog. I saw the article “I’m about as legal as illegal gets” on facebook and found my way here.
    First of all, beautiful blog!
    I have struggled with cultural identity and as such I identify with you. I am a third generation dutch immigrant who grew up around bleeding liberals. I have always longed to belong somewhere but there were always barriers to that. (We lived far away from other dutch people, I was a devout Christian, but being a feminist I couldn’t handle the He God version, my brother was disabled and often sick consuming my social life). I am most definitely a white American, but I’ve done much of my emotional growth in Spanish with Mexican immigrants here in St Paul, MN. I seem to fail miserably at following the social mores with either the Mexican or White community here. When I’m in either group I feel like a part of me isn’t being seen. I have grown to appreciate the complexity of mixed racial identity and the larger unknown of any one person’s full truth.
    I graduated with an Ethnic Studies degree. Really it’s just about becoming aware of how to communicate about the ways different social groups weave through each other creating and destructing racial truths. We really are allowed to be who we are, but we are also all painfully aware of the lack of tolerance around us.
    Rainer Maria Rilke is amazing.


    1. Dear Jessica,
      Thank you so much for the words of friendship- how great that we find that there are others in a similar gray! I believe that together, we can weave those strings, unconnected around us and make a tapestry of understanding- being who we are.
      I do love Rainer Maria Rilke, and questions too.

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